


Why Can't I Be Normal

by boyofscissors



Series: Billdip One-Shots [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Everyone Needs A Hug, Human Cipher Twins, I need a hug, I'm tired, M/M, Paranoia, Teenage Bill Cipher, Teenage Dipper Pines, Violence, cute gay boys, i suck, this is a really bad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-16 04:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13046394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boyofscissors/pseuds/boyofscissors
Summary: I KNOW I HURT YOU.I HATE THAT.I HATE MYSELF.





	Why Can't I Be Normal

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know, Pine Tree.”

“Do you love me?”

“Always, Pine Tree. I promise.”

  


Dipper and Bill were laying together in the room they shared. Bill had his own bed, but he prefered to lay with Pine Tree. Bill had been staying with the Pines ever since he came back to this dimension, and got a human body.

The Pines were cautious with Bill at first, but after a while of living with a demon, they grew more trusting, only ever giving Bill a glare when he uses his magic or gets too close to one of them. They would even sometimes let him stay home alone if they went out somewhere.

They let him stay as long as he worked for them and didn’t make any deals with anyone. It was hard not making deals for him. It was something so normal to him, that not making deals was weird. Abnormal. Foreign.  Alien. He wanted to make deals with anyone at this point, he just wanted to feel normal again.

Insane, but his version of normal.

The Pines didn’t want Bill to have his own room (just in case he makes satanic rituals), so they let Dipper and Bill share the attic, while Mabel had her own room. At first, Dipper was unsure it was a good idea, sharing a room with a demon. But, as time went on, he grew used to it. Bill usually slept until 9:30 am, so Dipper didn’t have to deal with him straight in the morning, but, sometimes, by some evil force, Bill would wake up before Dipper, and would wake him up. Bill’s waking up of Dipper consisted of being face-to-face with Dipper, and whisper “heeeyyyy, Pine Tree...WAKE UP!”, this usually caused Dipper to startle awake, while Bill laughed hysterically.

Dipper thought this was annoying, but he also thought it was a bit cute of Bill to do it. The two of them had always sort of had feelings for each other, but they never straight out told each other. Bill, being flirty and teasing, would joke about them being together and teasing Dipper, asking him if he liked his new body. The truth was, Dipper did think Bill was cute; he was tall and lanky, his skin was tan, he had shaggy blonde hair, and his one eye that wasn’t covered by the medical eye patch was a striking gold. Bill usually wore a yellow, white, or black button-up shirt, black jeans, a black bowtie, and a black top-hat.  

One night, they were in their beds,supposed to be asleep. Bill couldn’t sleep, and neither could Dipper. Bill stood up and walked over across the room to Dipper’s bed.

“Can I lay down with you?” Bill asked him.

“Uh, sure, I guess.” Dipper replied, shocked a bit.

“Okay…”

Bill laid down on his side next to Dipper, Bill’s face nestled on Dipper’s shoulder. Dipper slithered his arms around Bill’s waist, holding him closer.

“Is it okay?” Dipper asked.

“It’s okay.” Bill murmured, his voice choked a little.

“Are you crying?”

“I think so.”

Bill sobbed into Dipper’s shoulder. They both sat up, Dipper hold Bill to his chest.

“I’m sorry, Pine Tree...I’m so sorry…” was all Dipper could make out of Bill’s choked words.

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.” Dipper asked, heartbroken at the sight of Bill’s unhappiness.

“I-I-I hurt you...so much...I don’t deserve this!”

Bill broke away from Dipper and started hitting himself on his jaw and cheek with his balled-up fists.

“No! Bill, stop!! You didn’t hurt me!! I’m fine!!!” Dipper pleaded Bill to stop hurting himself, to just calm down.

Dipper shifted himself so he was now facing Bill. He grabbed Bill’s wrists and pulled them in between them. Bill tried pulling them away, screaming how he doesn’t deserve to calm down, or to rest, or to not be in pain. Screaming how he needs to throw himself off a cliff, or hang himself.

“Bill, STOP IT!” Dipper yelled at the poor demon sternly. Bill looked at him in the eye, his one eye red and streaming with tears. His breathing heavy, but more controlled.

“You didn’t hurt me. I’m okay, see? Just stop hurting yourself, okay? I care so much about you, I don’t want to ever lose you again. I love you, okay? You deserve to live so much. Just, don’t hurt yourself ever again, okay?”

Bill nodded.

“Just calm down. You’re tired. Just lay down.”

The two laid down, Bill’s head on Dipper’s chest, Dipper’s arms around Bill.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know, Pine Tree.”

“Do you love me?”

“Always, Pine Tree. I promise.”  



End file.
